The journal app that I use provides a writing prompt every day.
Today’s was: “Talk to yourself in your writing.”
Hasn’t
that been my greatest fear as a writer? Any writer’s greatest fear? A believer’s
deepest anxiety? A prayer’s most profound doubt? That we actually live
in an echo chamber. The words we write reach no further than our own
eyes. The petitions we pray from the depths of our hearts land on our
own deaf ears.
Isn’t this the root of the existential nightmare
that reality is nothing more than my own projections, and I stand in the
middle of an unbroken circle, utterly alone? I am reduced to inventing
dialogue partners which end up being just different aspects of myself.
Today
though, I was prompted to ask a different question. Or perhaps, the
next question, because all of what I wrote above is certainly true. The
question is, so what? Why should any of that be a fear?
The
most basic truth in not that we’re alone. It’s so much bigger than
that. The most basic truth is that we’re alone, together.
Press
your ear close as I address myself, because I can’t address myself
without addressing you. I can not pray my heart’s deepest desires
without praying yours. And maybe the reality is that when I write, when
I pray, I’m not praying or writing to God as much as I am praying and
writing through God. And God through me.
Yes, the circle is
unbroken. It is just much bigger than I imagined. Everything is in it,
nothing is outside...both utter isolation and complete
communion. It is all here.
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