Monday, June 24, 2013

The Circle Unbroken

The journal app that I use provides a writing prompt every day.

Today’s was: “Talk to yourself in your writing.

Hasn’t that been my greatest fear as a writer?  Any writer’s greatest fear?  A believer’s deepest anxiety?  A prayer’s most profound doubt?  That we actually live in an echo chamber.  The words we write reach no further than our own eyes.  The petitions we pray from the depths of our hearts land on our own deaf ears.

Isn’t this the root of the existential nightmare that reality is nothing more than my own projections, and I stand in the middle of an unbroken circle, utterly alone?  I am reduced to  inventing dialogue partners which end up being just different aspects of myself.

Today though, I was prompted to ask a different question.  Or perhaps, the next question, because all of what I wrote above is certainly true.  The question is, so what?  Why should any of that be a fear?

The most basic truth in not that we’re alone.  It’s so much bigger than that.  The most basic truth is that we’re alone, together.

Press your ear close as I address myself, because I can’t address myself without addressing you.  I can not pray my heart’s deepest desires without praying yours.  And maybe the reality is that when I write, when I pray, I’m not praying or writing to God as much as I am praying and writing through God.  And God through me.

Yes, the circle is unbroken.  It is just much bigger than I imagined.  Everything is in it, nothing is outside...both utter isolation and complete communion.  It is all here. 

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